Happy New Year

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There will no TMI or Weird Wed for me this week.
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I can't even check out the year end HNTs. My eyes have deserted me this last week - probably because I ate too much sugar. Luckily I can still see enough to maneuver around the blogs and Google reader which my voice reader can handle.

Hope everyone has a Happy Newyear!

Wednesday Weirdness #35

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#35 - Visit the Website

1.) Did you donate any money/gifts/time to charity this year?
+/-Click here for Answer

Yes, all of the above.


2.) Were you in a hurry to grow up as a child? Do you ever wish you had enjoyed being a kid more?

Grow up? What's that? I'm still a kid about certain things.


3.) What snack did you used to leave Santa? Did you ever catch a parent putting away or eating the treat you left for Santa?

Cookies and Milk - I remember that it would be gone shortly after we set it out and BEFORE the presents arrived.


4.) If you were not related to your cousins, are they people you would pick as friends?

There is one cousin I would be a friend with benefits but most of them bug the hell out of me.

5.) When was your last awkward moment? What happened?

I was bitching about service at a store and the sweet smiling customer service lady whispered my zipper was down. As it turned out it had broken.
The pants were their's and she replaced them. For some reason she would not help me change. For the record I have been a commando since I was a teen.

6.) What is one gift you would be really excited to receive this holiday?

Permission to try surgery to get some/all of my sight back.


7.) When staying with relatives/having relatives stay with you for the
holidays, is sex a go or put on hold?

My previous GF and I would try to have sex in as many rooms of the relatives home as we could. The thrill of possibly getting caught was such a turn on.


8.) Do you have any traditions for the holidays? (ie opening one gift Christmas eve and saving the rest for Christmas day, opening them all Christmas eve, listening to a particular holiday CD while opening gifts, preparing a special breakfast, etc)

Always one gift on Xmas eve for the little ones and save the rest for Xmas morning.


9.) What is something you would be embarrassed to receive as a gift?

I don't embarrass easily buy I suppose porn would do it.


10.) Do you collect anything?

Odds and ends - Three boxes of stuff I will probably never use - extra screws, bolts and nuts, pens and pencils, cables and connectors, receipts, old pill bottles, small cleaned glass jars, keys and key rings. Old computers (10 or so) - I do recycle the monitors.

But my favorite - old Corvette Stingrays - I have eight so far...and it is NOT because I am lacking in other areas!

My Favorite Acting Stage: The Bar Chapter Five

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My Favorite Acting Stage: The Bar Chapter Five
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Read Chapter Four Here

Wednesday afternoon she said she had to go visit a friend and I was not invited. We were at my hotel – Tuesday evening we had toured her ‘mansion’ right across the street after dinner and a few drinks. I had to visit my computer installation to fix a minor problem.

Her mansion was actually a warehouse disguised as a big home - the home part was still over 4500 square feet but only three rooms were finished - sparsely.

She told me she was waiting for a husband to help her decorate. I pretended to run away in fear but she assured me I was not a likely candidate – I did not have blue eyes.

Little did I know how serious she was.

She left for her afternoon appointment and I decided to go for a drink at the bar where we met. Me and the very young bartender were the only occupants but at least she had the ball game on.

She told me later her uncle insisted that a sporting event was always on if possible – he did not want the news or a soap opera greeting a patron.

I ordered a beer and she blushed. She explained she was not old enough to serve – she could deliver but could not serve – it was help yourself and she would take my money.

I asked where the regular bartender was and she asked why I thought she was not the regular. We both laughed and she explained she filled in when her uncle had other errands to run.

We watched the game in silence for a while until she asked how Jane and I were getting along. As far as I knew no one had seen us or talked to us since Sunday.

I decided to play dumb. She told me not to play dumb, she was a friend of Jane’s brother. I asked what she had heard and she pretty much described Jane and my activities for the pass few days.

I laughed about small towns. She told me everyone loved Jane and wanted to make sure she didn’t get screwed (except she used the F-word).

I asked if she meant literally or figuratively. She threw something at me and told me if all I wanted was a piece of tail (she said something else) she would give me a number.

I asked if it was hers and she said maybe. I held my hand out and she put ice in it.

A couple walked in and I could tell they must be regulars because they went straight to the beer taps to draw their beer into frosted mugs they pulled from the freezer under the taps.

They both would have made great bartenders.

After they sat, the lady looked at me and asked how Jane was. She never once asked about me. But after ten minutes her pointed questions could not have been any sharper.

Jill, the underage bartender actually defended me a couple of times again surprising me with how much information she knew. It dawned on me that either Jane’s places were bugged or she was very close to her brother.

Sometime later my pager went off and Jill handed me the phone without asking. I showed her the number and she said Jane’s parents house. I dialed and Jane answered asking me where the hell I was.

She told me to stay much like someone would command their dog and I just about left just to bolster my manhood.

A few minutes later she walked in and kissed me for several seconds, tongue and all. She also rubber herself against me like she could not wait.

One thing to point out – up to this point we had never kissed or even touched each other except as brother/sister. In fact, if I was forced to describe our relationship it would be as older brother/younger sister.

That’s not to say we were not attracted to each other – we had both agreed that friends was a good position to be in for now.

The lady patron told us to get a room and Jane told her to eff off. I was surprised. Then Jane whispered for me to follow her lead.

Now so far this young lady had not led me astray so I smiled and winked at her. She gently squeezed my crotch. Talk about mixed signals. I knew to keep my hands to myself.

She went to the other end of the bar to talk to the couple and Jill came down to tell me I was a good kisser and a liar – we were just friends her butt.

I knew no matter what I said she would just laugh at me so I just smiled.

Jane came back and kissed me again then she smiled and asked if I was ready.

She started talking louder and not very nice. She wondered why I complained five times a day was not enough. I told her I was use to more and she laughed calling me a liar.

She asked if I wanted her to get on her knees right here or should we go into the back room. She grabbed my hand and led me behind the bar and through a door which I assumed led to a back room.

After a few moments she asked loudly what the hell was wrong. Did she not do it right? Why did I not respond?

She left everything just vague enough that most people would assume I was unable to respond to her sexual advances.

She walked back out the door in a huff. I followed a minute later and all I saw was her back as she walked out the door.

I went after her listening to the three people in the bar calling me bad names.

Read Chapter Six Here

TMI Tuesday #166 - Merry Christmas!

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TMI Tuesday #166 - Merry Christmas!


1. What present do you hope ends up under you tree?
+/-Click here for answer

A bigger computer monitor.

2. What present are you most psyched about giving (PLEASE be vague or ignore this question if the recipient reads your blog)?

Large cash gifts to biological kids.

3. Do you prefer to give or receive?

I love to give but I really like to receive - especially se...

4. What is your favorite part of a sexual partner's body?

Her brain IF I can fuck with it.

5. What is your favorite part of your body - the one you hope a sexual partner will find or pay the most attention to?

My neck or the hanging chestnuts...

Bonus (as in optional): [Idea blatantly stolen from Os and his HNT wishes.] What Christmas wishes would you grant to whom?

Let all the troops be at home for Christmas with their loved ones.

Wednesday Weirdness #34

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#34 - Visit the Website

1. What is the one sexual act you would never do?
+/-Click Here For Answer

Anything in my butt


2. Is there anyone you know, that if they turned out to be a serial killer you would not be surprised?

Yes, actually 2 or 3.


3. What is the most annoying thing about the holiday season for you?

I can be a Scrooge.


4. If you saw a video of your celebrity crush picking their nose, would that change your opinion of your hotness?

I doubt it as long as they didn't eat it.


5. What is the one non-sexual thing you would be embarrassed to be caught doing?

Flatulence.


6. A favorite blogger friend wrote a column about the one word that really turns her on. Do you have a word or phrase that does the same for you? What is it?

When my partner whispers in my ear, "F@&k me!"


7. As someone who ran a virtual cookie exchange, I have to ask what your favorite cookie is?

I would have to say Peanut Butter with Chocolate Chips but only if freshly baked with a glass of milk.