My Favorite Acting Stage: The Bar – Chapter One

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For too many years most weekends I installed or upgraded computer systems in medium sized cities around the Midwest.
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It was logical since I designed and programmed the systems and I got paid for them. I was a class A nerd.

I used to do it on Fridays and Saturdays but working those two days just ruined the entire weekend so I changed things around.

I started arriving Friday evening towards the end of the work day. I’d have the employees move their old equipment out of the way and put the new stuff where they wanted it.

That alone saved me many hours of unpacking and carrying all the crap to the right desk or room.

I would hook up the network Friday night at my leisure, spend Saturday installing software or upgrades and moving data around or whatever. Sunday after lunch the employees would come back for a quickie systems check and any last minute questions. Didn’t take long since it was on their dime.

Monday morning I would check in making sure everything was good then I would head home.

Some of you are saying: I thought he said he used to do this on Friday and Saturday but moved it to Friday, Saturday, Sunday AND Monday.

You have it right. But before the change I would start work around noon on Friday which took everyone offline.

It would take me until the early hours of Saturday and several back breaking hours of lifting to get the network alive.

After a few hours of rushed sleep I would work frantically to get everything done and catch an early evening flight home on Saturday.

By the time I got home Saturday evening I was worn out so I went to bed and woke up around noon on Sunday. The entire weekend was gone.

Monday morning was a crap shoot – if something didn’t work it had to wait for me or a local repairman that usually could not fix it.

So I changed things around.

I traveled to very nice cities stayed in extremely nice hotels with wonderful, exceptional restaurants and nightlife. And I was on an expense account.

I would grab a burger at the nearest fast kill-my-heart food place to save time. WHY? On Friday I would rush to get everything done to get a few hours sleep on a $1000 mattress with high thread count sheets and rush back on Saturday to finish to rush home to catch up on my sleep. WHY?

My new method let me A) Finish up early Friday evening and have a leisurely late dinner at a fabulous restaurant.

B) Wake up late on Saturday and take Saturday evening if not all afternoon for sightseeing and another good meal AND a visit to a live music venue such as the jazz clubs in Chicago or blues clubs in St. Louis or even a local rock cover band. I could stay out at late if I wanted.

C) I would spend Sunday afternoon and evening at a neighborhood bar watching the local sports teams (and rooting against them just to piss off the locals) and eating my favorite food group – greasy bar food.

Even after several heart attacks, bypass surgery and fighting diabetes, I still crave a red plastic basket with a wax paper liner, fries or rings hanging over the edges still dripping grease and a half done hamburger or brat or Philly Cheese Steak steaming fresh from the grill with the grilled onions peeking out dripping even more grease..

AND the always present dill pickle slice that I actually hated but could not leave behind – on principal.

My system was great – my kids lived with me Monday afternoon to Friday early morning. They would spend Friday evening, the weekend and Monday morning with their mother or grandparents and they would come back home Mondays evenings.

I was almost always alone Friday, Saturday, Sunday and most of Monday.

Tuesday through Thursday I taught school at the local college full time (if you can call four classes full time) and I used the rest of the time for consulting and providing customer service to my systems as well as cooking, cleaning and raising my kids.

At least with my new way I had some sort of life, even if it was not at home.

The problem I ran into was simple and simple to solve. Once I was noticed at the bar everyone wondered what I did for a living.

IF I answered a computer teacher or computer support people I instantly had however many new friends as were in the bar. They all had a problem with their new computer or they wanted to add more disk space or they wanted a better sound system.

Since I already talked computers constantly, my creativity kicked in and I became an actor of sorts.

I changed street lights, I was a cabinet maker, a brick layer, a carpenter, and a grain bin installer – things that I had done before. Jobs that no one really cared about.

I was a tow truck driver, a snow plow driver, worked in a headstone engraving shop (I re-wrote a computer program to control an engraver for a guy in Iowa). So many varied professions.

But I have saved the best for last – one of those things that just happen without planning or even thought. And I’ll tell you about it next time.

Read Chapter Two Here