My Favorite Acting Stage: The Bar Chapter Two

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Read Chapter One Here

One Saturday evening I was in a smaller town that only had about twenty bars total. It had more churches than bars.
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Looking back the bar even seemed like a church. Very quiet and reserved. Might have been six people leaning against the bar and they each had nodded and looked me up and down, some had done this several times.

The jukebox was hanging on a wall opposite the bar but it was not playing – it was not even on unless all the bulbs were burned out.

The TV behind the bar had seen better days, many of them, maybe more than me – it was so dark every scene looked like it was filmed at night and it was hard to determine the race of the actors or news people or whoever was on camera.

I had already decided I would try the next bar when the bar maid asked if I was waiting for so and so. I did not hear what she said exactly but I never say no until I was sure what I was turning down.

She repeated herself asking if I was waiting for Jane, that’s what I will call her. I did a thing with my shoulders that could have been yes or no.

She grabbed me another drink and walked toward me. I put money on the bar and the girl warned me that everyone in town considered Jane their family and if I mistreated her I would get my ass kicked.

Well, at least I knew the people supported one another. But I was not sure what I was waiting for.

I was told that the last two guys had failed to show. I was not quite sure what that meant. She told me the first one was so ugly and repulsive one of the older ladies pretended to be Jane and ran the guy off.

I kept continuing to play dumb.

I figured out I must be a blind date or a dating service match. I asked her how I was doing so far and she said not to be nervous. First impressions were important.

I laughed and made a face asking if that was a good one or maybe this was better changing faces again. The laughs made it seem I was accepted within minutes and I was getting many pieces of advice about Jane from all the patrons.

I had already decided to turn the tables on them by announcing I was not a date of any kind when I heard the barmaid tell, I assume Jane, that I was looking good. She also told her to wear a shorter skirt then last time and maybe some taller heels.

My curiosity got the better of me and I had to stick it out until at least the real blind date showed up.

About fifteen minutes later two attractive women walked into the bar. One had very high heels on and a skirt that really could not be called a skirt.

The other wore flat shoes and a skirt right above the knees. The first had enough makeup for ten women and the second’s was so bare I could see the freckles on her cheeks and nose.

If the first held her lips together too long, the extreme amount of lipstick would have melted together and she would be silenced.

The second looked like she had applied lip balm. But her cheeks were naturally red and she seemed embarrassed or maybe just bothered by all the fuss.

Ms Makeup introduced herself asking if I was John. I never answered but I did shake her hand. The fake ‘Jane’ ordered a whiskey something with a beer back. The real ‘Jane’ ordered a soda.

I was hooked the moment she snuck a look at me and coyly looked away without attempting to hide her interest.

The fake Jane drained her whiskey, ordered another and drank half her beer. She leaned close to let me look down her top, light her cigarette and smell her perfume and asked if I had eaten supper. She suggested garlic pizza around the corner.

The real Jane giggled and roller her eyes behind her friend. Fake Jane wobbled down the bar to talk to someone and I asked Jane a question using the name Jane.

She answered and I caught her. She blushed and told Marie to get her darn stuff out of the way. Then she introduced herself and I told her my real name. She caught on right away.

She asked if I was here from some match site on the web and I told her I had never heard of it. She laughed and told me she was sorry she had bothered me and started to move away.

I asked her a few questions and then excused myself to use the restroom. I heard Marie asking questions from one end of the bar to the other. Jane had every chance to tell her friends I was not the guy but she didn’t.

When I came out I asked her why? She said she had already suffered their pity and jokes. The first guy they had intervened and used an older woman to run him off. The second, third, fourth and fifth had not even shown up but they did not know that.

The sixth was the wrong type and she never talked to him again. He was there for less than an hour.

I told her seven was her lucky number and she shushed me – they thought I was like four or five.

I told her I was in town until Monday so I would help any way she wanted IF she could find me some live music. She looked at me with a very queer look and said OK but her eyes were laughing.

She told the bar patrons I wanted some live music and she was thinking about eighth and Grove; I think that’s what it was. Someone chuckled and wondered if I really liked that new kind of music.

She finished her soda and away we went walking. She told me I was walking too fast so I apologized and slowed down. She grabbed my arm and said she was being sarcastic. I had not heard it in her voice but later I would be able to pick it out easily.

She did not let go of my arm until I heard one of the best sounding organs I have ever heard. It was wonderful and totally captivating. I stopped on the sidewalk to listen but she kept walking and let go of my arm.

She told me many months later it looked like I was have a sexual moment. I didn’t tell her until recently that I was.

Read Chapter Three Here